1. There is a bat dozing on the light fixture just outside Herr Direktor�s office (too bad he�s out of town today). I spotted the little guy snoozing, but since the Halloween decorations have been migrating around the building, I assumed it was a prank. We�re awaiting officials to arrive to deal with him. We�re all up in arms about not hurting the little fellow and such. He�s so small and alone.

2. Jeremy and I had lunch, since he�s just returned from Atlantic City (or thereabouts) and has the week off. We�ve never had lunch on a workday, what with that working in different towns crap. As he drove me back to work, I felt like I was back in sixth grade, the year of the nervous breakdown, when I�d get all choked up on the way to school and refuse to get out of the car. Being older and in need of maintaining gainful employment, I got out of the car.

3. A crush from spring has been eliminated. (See, I promised more passive voice issues.) As I was investigating to determine his qualifications for being a conference speaker, I turned up the wife of several years. Tossing his cell phone number might be a good idea.

4. At an antique shop over the weekend, I found a paperweight that looked like a pig�s ass.

5. The Bears. Sigh.

6. Willie Nelson will be on some show called Monk tonight.

7. Batcon, the new bacon.

8. I had the best meal of my entire life Saturday night. Eggplant torta. Think layers of tortillas alternating with goat cheese, black beans and grilled eggplant, baked and topped with chipotle sauce and served with a creamy vanilla sauce on the side, the vanilla serving to cut the burning sensation of the spice. It is officially the new better-than-sex food, not because it really is, but it's as close as anything.

9. Rejection submissions are still being accepted. Get on it, folks, and drop me a line.