I�m on the biweekly doctoral visit plan right now, going to sit in the soundproof box several times a week, pushing the red button whenever I hear the sounds, trying to wrap my brain around words to repeat them back to the audiologist, then listening patiently as the doc explains that they have no idea what the hell�s going on. Yesterday was the migraine portion of the production; today is ear event, coupled with a bitchin� headache.
Today I get a new specialist, which may help. Or today may just be another piece of information for the growing file, maybe another �roid prescription, sure to make me sleepless, hungry and nervous, which could maybe also reduce swelling and make things feel normal again, save for the side effects.
The doc instructed me to remain calm, but after 5 weeks of this, I�m impatient and worried. Though if you spend any time in an otolaryngologist�s office looking at the medical illustrations on the posters, you can�t help but be reminded of just how amazingly intricate the body really is. The ears alone are full of the tiniest, strangest little bones, membranes and nerves. How they ever narrow the problem down to something specific is beyond me. I blame the wooly little caterpillar thing in that crevice over there.
And yet life retains some sense of normalcy. I go to work, go home, go to work, go home, go to bed, get up, go to work. I give Van Lear Rose to Reb for her birthday, because it�s essential for life. I keep my bloody mouth shut to avoid conflicts with people who deserve to be put in their places. Ewenorker and Sparky go to Vegas and marry. I plant tomatoes, basil, cilantro, thyme and oregano on the porch and move them into places where the endless rain will keep them happy.
The Fuzz seems to know I don�t feel well, and he�s been pleasantly snuggly and soothing.
I remind myself to not reach out and grab at things I don�t want.