I've spent the week trying to forget the horror that was my drive to Jeremy's town (starting point for the vacation trip to suburbia) Monday. My car was a mess, and I was so scared. Somehow lost both front hubcabs, too, though the bloody thing would scarcely go above a crawl, which mystified me. While I'm having a good time, I keep having panic attacks and tears, which I think I'm successfully hiding from J. If the car just gets me home tomorrow night, I'll be lucky.

So you can see I haven't been very successful in forgetting. Too much downtime and not enough alcohol.

Alas, vacation is good, on the whole. This housesitting business is the best--far better than the nicest hotels at which I've stayed. After all, there was a personalized basket of linens/shampoos on the bed in my room, and the girls left us stocked with snacks and soda. Their dogs are the best dogs I've ever met.

They have digital cable (yes, lots of VH1 this week). And a lovely, lovely home. A firm guest room mattress. Leather sofa.

I've been perfectly lazy--sleeping in, taking long walks, watching television, and feeling no pressure to go, see or do. A pal from college came over Tuesday, and we're to dine with her and her hubby tonight. Last night was dinner with pals of J's in Elgin.

Though the dogs are officially J's duty, while the cats are mine, the dogs insist upon sleeping with me, instead of with him in their usual spots in the master bedroom. Cal snores and rolls, plus she sleeps with her head on the pillow next to me, sometimes reaching out with her paws toward my neck, so it's not precisely restful for me, but it's slightly better than hearing her whine and pace the floor around the bed. On the whole no worse than my last bedmate.

Oy. Much as I needed to escape for awhile, I wish I could turn off the thoughts. I can't stop stewing about the car, about family stuff, about my financial quagmire, and about feeling out of control and scared to death.

Tomorrow eve we head home. If I make it home, and if I find something clean to wear, I guess I'll try to find a little glass of oblivion back at the old mother ship. Come drink with me.

Cheers.