Study up on the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne for tonight.

Also, know this: Of the books recommended by authors in a recent TLS (that�s the Times Literary Supplement, kids) as the best books they�ve read this year, I�d read 2.2. There were probably about 40 books mentioned. I am so hip. But what did I read? Nickle and Dimed (excellent airplane book�thanks, Jane) and The Death of Vishnu. What�s this .2 stuff? Well, I bestowed upon myself a tenth of a point for owning Everything is Illuminated, which has been next on the list for approximately 34 days. Then there�s another tenth of a point for Middlesex, which wasn�t recommended so much as mentioned as a vehicle to get to recommending The Virgin Suicides, which I never read, simply because I saw that dreadful movie first.

Best book you read this year? Mine�s usually whichever I finished most recently, and that was Sarah Vowell�s The Partly Cloudy Patriot, which was every bit as delicious as I�d hoped. Kate, you got that? Write it down. You�re going to read it, then you�ll tell Jeff it�s just spot-on, and he�ll read it, and he�ll be inspired to return to the States. I digress. The Lovely Bones did live up to the hype, and I couldn�t put it down. But thank heaven I finally finished Underworld. Biggest book disappointment? Shh, don�t tell him, but I think it was You Shall Know Our Velocity. Yeah, I got it, but it still hurt.

Predictions. Let�s make some of those. I say that black is back. No no no to this brown stuff. No tan. Most of all, no Burberry! Can it happen? So let�s have black. Out with the peasant look, too. In spite of whatever mood-altering substances one enjoys, I think we can at least get it together and look a bit more polished. No more of the $1,000 fringed buffalo-hunting jackets. Let�s bring back polka dots. Let�s bury blue eyshadow.

No embroidered sweatshirts, either, especially if they have teddy bears and lace on them and you�re my mother.

Furthermore, I say we can and should have smoke-free bars. We wouldn�t need a special bar jacket. And scarf.

Oh yes, I�m nothing if not cutting edge. Thinking outside that bloody box. Sigh. Just promise you�ll help me keep up appearances, at least.

Do be careful tonight, ducklings. Learn from Diana Ross�s mistakes. Above all else, do not let terror change the way you celebrate.