1. Fatty*

2. Puffy*

3. Tea Pot

4. Tin Cup

5. Tin Lizzy

6. Peanut*

7. Peacock

8. P Diddy

9. Pastor Mike

10. Heart of Darkness*

* indicates names to which he will respond

Tasks Not Ordinarily Accomplished That Were Made Possible by Aforementioned Illness:

1. Laundry

2. Sleeping

3. Dishwashing

4. Bill paying

5. Playing in Peoria

6. Viewing the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice in one sitting

7. Spending an hour walking outside, then inside, trying to determine whether brain-pinching flu was just a result of a gas leak. (Only in my head.)

Things My Elder Sister Believes Would Endanger Lives:

1. Me moving in with the parents for a year.

2. Anyone attempting to live with me who has bad musical taste, worldly possessions or feelings.

3. Anyone having to move my worldly possessions anywhere. Ever.

Approximate Number of Times I Heard the Beach Boys� God Only Knows on the Radio Yesterday Before I Realized It Was Repeating, Not Just Really Monotonous: 4.

Approximate Number of Times I Listened to the Song Yesterday: 16.

Number of Times I Got All the Words Right When Singing Along: 0.

Number of Times I�ve Heard Robbie Fulks and Band Perform the Song in Concert: 1.

Reason Calvin Klein is My Hero Today: The Calvin Boot Cut, Sale Price Plus 20% Discount = $27.