Dear family and friends:

I am so broke. Please send 50 grams of loose vanilla tea, a half-peck of fresh peaches, a milk cow and a dozen eggs.

Love,

flashingreds

Sigh.

The cow could�ve had a field day in our yard, but the dynamic landlord/landlady duo appeared at 7:30 last night to begin �cutting back� the enthusiastic forest in the yard, a task they promised to do when I moved in.

I stepped out the front door this morning and nearly cried. They chopped and mowed everything. The walkway to my porch was formerly lined with columbine, various mints, sedum and a few other legitimate, healthy plants. It�s all gone, mown down to a thin layer of ancient mulch. The trend continued throughout the yard, where they eliminated weeds and plants alike, though they left such lovely sights as a broken wooden bench and an abandoned microwave, now in plain view, thanks to their industrious work.

(Why on earth do I keep hearing Mr. T saying, �I pity the fool� in my head? It�s not true�I resent them. I resent them for having a beautiful house and yard and for letting them fall into disarray. For not being wise enough to care for it properly.)

Plus they left trash on my porch steps. And a large stone, right in the middle.

If they lay a finger on that Virgin Mary statuette that appeared on the porch overnight last Thursday night, they�re going down.