Some of you have heard this before, but the thing about the aging folk that startles me, the thing that makes me most uncomfortable, is their proclivity for discussing matters of bodily functions. More specifically--bodily functions dealing with the digestive track.

Me: So, how were the grandparents?

Mom: Well, your grandpa had diarrhea, but now he�s constipated.

Me: Why can�t you just say, �He�s having tummy troubles?� I know what that means, and it�s not nearly so�indelicate. Please.

Mom: Well, you know how your grandpa is, if he doesn�t have two bowel movements a day, he gets all upset and thinks something�s wrong.

Me: La la la, I can�t hear you.

So when I got back to the grandparents� house Friday morning, Grandma and Dad couldn�t wait to tell the story of their fun morning. It seems Grandpa got up around 5 or 5:30 and headed in to the bathroom. It�s about 10 feet from his bed to the toilet in the bathroom, but it takes him a good 5 minutes to get there. Dad awoke to hear Grandpa hollering for Grandma, so he got up to check on Grandpa.

He, of course, wanted Grandma, but since she was snoring fitfully, Dad convinced Grandpa he could clean him up and get him on the toilet. But before he was done cleaning things up, Dad had to pee. Urgently. Which meant getting Grandpa to stand up and move over for a moment, which they did.

Grandma then awoke to hear Dad getting clean pants out for Grandpa, who was back on the toilet. She got up to come help, but as she made her way to the bathroom, she, too, felt that urgent early morning need to pee. So Dad was in the bathroom cleaning, and she rushed in, made Grandpa stand up and move over yet again, so she could pee. Grandma confessed that they were all giggling by the end.

A comedy of errors in the theme of bodily waste. Anyone still with me? Can you hear me?

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M. Kat came over this morning to ask for more stuffed squash to take to school for lunch today. I rock.