1. She appeals to all demographics by listing both fried pickles and edamame as favorite foods.

2. She�s a compromiser: a vegetarian who will eat fried chicken when she�s in Indianapolis, and she prefers North Carolina barbecue.

3. Redhead.

4. �Super� seems to be a favored word, yet it�s used in a charming fashion, as in: �Aw, come on, that was funny. That was super funny.�

5. She already has red, white and blue campaign-style buttons.

6. She has the semblance of moral integrity�no tarting herself up to go onstage.

7. Should she choose to sing her speeches, the country/world would be united in swooning.

8. Swooning rocks.

9. She has that lovely common woman vibe, works the audience well and confesses to being speechless (or saying foolish things) to people in bands she admires. She�s one of us.

10. She has spin-doctor experience. The CD that�s available only on tour, only from her is also available here, but I sure bought the story. And the CD.

11. She, too, surrounds herself with intelligent, talented people. But hey, guess what? She�s no puppet.

In short, Neko Case is nothing short of amazing. I think I missed the groupie registration booth, but I think the button makes me look official.

From what you�ve read so far today, I think you can see why my career as a music writer�s never really gotten off the ground. How can I describe her music, her voice? Breathtaking, awesome, exquisite, powerful, volatile. Does that tell you anything? Not really. I�ve heard comparisons to Patsy Cline, but that doesn�t do anything justice. She sounds old, but not aged, old in the sense of standing on stage singing into an old microphone that�s nearly as big as she is. Old in the sense of wise and knowing. Sigh. I give up.

Let�s just let the artists review themselves. Or perhaps they can review each other, maybe even in presidential debate format. With a moderator, of course.

�Mr. Adams, I cannot deny that you are a prolific and maudlin songwriter, but why must you be such an incontrovertible ass?�

�Gee, Mr. Fulks, isn�t your most famous song called �Fuck This Town�? You�re ever the one to mock facetious banter and rock star posing.�

�Satire.�

�Piss-ant.�

�Um, no, I meant my song�s satire.�

�Piss-ant.�

Huh. That�s not working out so well, either. Back to the drawing board.