Is it a problem when I look to non-US sites for real news about what�s going on in the world? How about when I look to Tony Blair to get the real scoop things going on in my country? No, no, there�s nothing new, but it frightens me a good bit, and it seems to shed some light on the state of media in our country. Don�t be puttin� the spin on things for me. No way.

I see that the government still has their marketing group working on the country�s image abroad, though. Gee, what a relief.

Several weeks ago I came to the realization that we�ve been bombing Iraq on a regular basis for years. It�s just not deemed newsworthy here. Maybe a bit na�ve of me, but I just didn�t know.

Sigh.

I�m feeling weird about this journal. I�ve been feeling weird about it for a while and have been talking about it with ewenorker. Funny how she�s reviving hers as I�m debating mine. I don�t know why I started. Okay, maybe just because I was spending so much time reading others, and while there are some that are endlessly amusing, there are some that aren�t. So I realized I didn�t have to think of myself as endlessly amusing; I didn�t have to work terribly hard at it. It�s just a place to vent. And I want you to read, really, but there�s no real interaction.

I don�t want a guest book. I don�t like that at all. I hate how you can be voyeuristically looking at a site, thinking you really understand something someone�s saying, wishing you could discuss it further, deciding to maybe leave a small comment in the guest book. But then you go there and read what others have said, realizing they, too, will see what you�ve said and pass judgment, just as I pass judgment. E-mail is more, well, private.

Funny thing about diaryland. Seems mostly inhabited by women, from what I�ve seen. And if you find a man�s journal and read the comments, it�s all about women (boys, girls, fellows, ladies, however you want it) feigning interest in every detail of the fellow�s life, but it doesn�t feel honest. It feels, well, cheap.

Maybe I�m reading the wrong journals. And I don�t really know what this has to do with my dilemma, either. Just that I�m uncomfortable with presenting myself as anything but me, shyness and sass and indignation included. And I don�t think it comes across well. I hate reading an entry after it�s posted. Am I really so vapid and foolish? Naw. But I do love the martinis and music, and that�s honest.

So whatever. Just whatever.

I need to make a grocery list. Ewenorker�s leaving her post as a high-powered publishing professional tomorrow to be a professional trainer here, and then there�s my party Saturday night. Ingredients must be procured. Food must be created. And tonight, the bathroom must be cleaned.

I�ve never had a party before. I hope they like it.

Then there�s the bridal shower on Sunday afternoon, not at my place. I desperately need game ideas. Games suitable for lots of reserved, motherly types. Sigh. If you�ve got something, please tell me.

Oh, and just go see Lovely and Amazing, for crying out loud. It makes everything suddenly better and good. I prescribe a daily viewing until your health is restored.