flashingreds...
happy birthday to jeremy
(2002-09-12, 10:59 a.m.)
Hey, there, big guy. What�s your favorite search engine?

I�ll accentuate it with a little wink, maybe some kissy noises, and the fellows will be lined up for miles. Blech.

Nonetheless, of all of the pointless interview questions that don�t really get to the heart of whether or not someone�s a good worker, that�s a lovely one. Not my interview, though, not this time.

We�ve been discussing interview questions and protocol, now that I�m not the only one out here on this limb. What�s your most hated interview question? Do tell. We strongly dislike the question of what our greatest weakness is, because we feel everyone should acknowledge the futility and stupidity of such a question. Nobody really says, �Well, I tend to develop obsessive crushes on coworkers, which have sometimes led to dismissals and restraining orders.� Do they? I�ve never seen it. No, we all pretty much say the same thing. �I�m really quite a perfectionist and want any job in which I�m involved to be done perfectly. But I�ve worked very hard at trusting my coworkers to do a good job, too, and I�ve really learned to trust my team.� Or some such similar nonsense. Because really, we�ve all worked with idiot slackers and have ended up doing everything ourselves, simply because it was easier and because we�d end up taking part of the fall when someone else messed up, anyway. But I digress.

Let�s get back to the aforementioned kissy noises. It�s a workplace problem I�m having. One of the assistants in my office puckers up and makes kissy sounds whenever I pass through her work area. It�s gone on for a good 6 months now, at least. While I�m glad I�m liked, I find it utterly annoying. Teasing I like. Kissyface sounds are bad. And it�s not like it�s possibly flirting, we�re talking a Jesus fish woman, for crying out loud. Please make it go away.

And somehow I have another assistant at work that calls me �Pumpkin� and �Muffin� and �Sweetie,� merely because I was in a goofy mood one day and referred to her as �Doll.� And now this tangent reminds me to remind you to buy the summer issue of Bitch. It�s The Pink Issue, and it�s lovely. All of which reminds me, a darling pal is bringing me a copy of Bust tomorrow at lunch. Sigh. It is well in the world. Aside from the kissy noises, the girly appellations, and oil spots on my car, of course.

Shoot. I was going to give Jeremy my unopened McSweeney�s Issue 6 and order a new one for myself, but they�re sold out. He wouldn�t be as excited about it, anyway. I wish we had a bookstore with a decent stock of audio books, for folks who spend no time at home, but lots of time in the car.

You know, for you non-Luddites who have fancy things like CD or cassette players in your cars.

Oh, and here�s the reading I did last night. In addition to Bitch, of course. But then there�s this, too, in case your faith in Americans is slipping. Unfortunately, it�s the American way.